


Hands

by yet_i_remain_quiet



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Felicity gets hurt, Oliver is an idiot, Shooting, ends with fluff, established olicity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-15 11:29:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4605024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yet_i_remain_quiet/pseuds/yet_i_remain_quiet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity is hurt while at a charity gala. Oliver tries to figure out what to do next.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by gif of Stephen being held back, and my slight masochist need to see Oliver's reaction to Felicity being hurt

Oliver burst through the swinging doors to the emergency room. Running along side the stretcher that carried Felicity. Her hand was grasped firmly in his own. His mind was racing, it jumped from thought to thought, when he was struck with the notion of how small her hand felt in his own. Her skin smooth, compared to his rough and calloused one. Her innocence and light compared to his guilt and darkness.

His eyes strayed from their clasped hands, to her face, her eyes closed and cheeks lacking the pink he had grown so accustomed to seeing. He willed her eyes to open, to be able to see her bright blue eyes again. 

The voices of the doctors and paramedics rang around his ears, their words not registering in his head. His gaze unfocused, his head felt clouded, as he tried to recall the events that had led him to this moment. How could things have gone so wrong, so quickly. 

Rough hands grabbed at his shoulders, which broke him out of his daze. He pushed and twisted, his eyes stayed on Felicity’s unmoving form. Her hand was pulled from his. He fought to get away from the hands that held him back. Fought to feel Felicity’s hand in his own again and never let go.

“Sir. Sir! Mr. Queen,” voices called to him. Oliver continued pushing against the hands that held his shoulders and arms. Their calls unanswered, as he struggled, desperate to stay at Felicity’s side. He thrust his elbow back and heard a grunt as it made contact.

“Oliver!” Diggle’s voice broke through Oliver’s daze. He turned to look at his friend. “Oliver, man, you have to left the doctor’s take Felicity. They’ll help her. Let them do their job.”

As he heard and took in Diggle’s words, Oliver felt the fight leave his body. The hands on his shoulders loosened their grip as he stopped fighting. He looked ahead to see the doctors pushing Felicity through a second set of doors. The doors swung shut behind them, blocking her from his view. 

Oliver’s steps faltered and his world seemed to tilt. He once again, felt arms wrap around his shoulders. This time, however, they were familiar arms of his friend and brother John Diggle. 

Oliver felt Diggle, guide him to a row of chairs against the wall. Oliver collapsed into the nearest one. Diggle, sank into the chair to Oliver’s right. Oliver rested his elbows on his knees, and rubbed his hands over his face. As he pulled them back, the blood that covered them registered in his scattered mind. 

Her blood. Felicity’s blood. 

Oliver shot back to his feet. His eyes darted around the small waiting room. 

“Oliver?” Digg’s voice came from his right. 

“Blood,” Oliver stuttered. “I — blood. Hands.” He shook his head and clenched his hands into fists. “I need to wash my hands,” his voice shook as he struggled to get the words out. 

Digg looked down at Oliver’s blood stained hands. “Alright, let’s find a washroom. You can wash up. We’ll be here a while.” 

Oliver’s eyes flashed to his friend’s face, his breath caught in his throat. “A while?” he choked out. 

Diggle’s eyes seemed to soften. “The doctors will have to operate,” explained Digg. “A gunshot wound like that; it needs surgery.”

The words hit Oliver like a punch to the gut. He swayed on his feet. Digg’s hands grasped his shoulders, steadied him. 

“Let’s find you a washroom to clean up in and then we’ll see if this place has anything that can pass as coffee,” Digg’s hand stayed on Oliver’s shoulder guiding him down the hall, before stopping in front of the doors marked washroom. 

Oliver pushed through the door, he turned back as Digg moved to follow him inside.

“I don’t need a babysitter,” he ground out. 

“Oliver, you’ve almost passed out twice,” Digg started.

Oliver closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I- I need a minute alone,” Oliver said quietly.

Digg sighed and nodded in understanding. “Alright, I see if I can find us some coffee. I’ll meet you back where we were sitting.” 

Oliver nodded and turned to push through the door.

“But if you’re not back in ten minutes. Babysitter or not, I’m coming in after you,” Digg called over his shoulder.

Oliver tried to laugh at the joke, but the sound that came out was more of a wince. 

Once inside the washroom, Oliver leaned against the door. He took a deep, shuddering breath and pushed off the door and walked to the sink. He turned the water on, and let it run until he could see steam coming off. Before lathering his hands with soap and he stuck his hands under the stream of sweltering water, feeling it burn his skin. The pain in his hands kept him from feeling the pain of remembering the events of the night. 

He looked up to meet his eyes in the mirror. His face was pale and his eyes were rimmed in red and he took in the rest of his reflection. The suit he was wearing, which had been pristine, was now in disarray. The tie loosened from the knot that Felicity had fixed for him only hours before. Blood stained his white shirt.

He pulled his hands out from the stream of water, and gripped the sides on the sink. He bowed his head and for the first time in years, Oliver found himself praying. 

The Queens had never been a religious family, only attending the occasional Christmas or Easter service. And after years of torture on the island, Hong Kong, and everything else that had occurred in the years since, Oliver had lost any beliefs that he might have once held. 

But now, in the quiet of the washroom, Oliver found himself praying, to any god that would listen, to save Felicity. To let her live. To be able to hold her once more. To see her smile and hear her laugh again. 

Oliver felt his mind drift back, to a few hours earlier, reliving the events of the evening. It had all happened so fast. Gone so wrong, so fast. 

Oliver and Felicity had been attending a gala, which was being held to raise money for a charity supported by, what is now, Queen Inc. After Ray had signed Palmer Technologies over to Felicity, she had worked tirelessly to build the company back to it’s former glory, and returning the Queen name. Oliver had declined Felicity’s offer to return as CEO, stating that she had practically run the company for him and he fully supported her as the new CEO.

He could remember her walking down the stairs towards him. Her hair, carefully curled and piled on the top of her head, make up skillfully applied. She had smiled as she walked towards him, and he had be struck by her beauty. The way she seemed to light up the room as she walked towards him.

She had stopped in front of him and looked up to meet his gaze. She carefully adjusted his tie, tightening and straightening the knot around his neck. 

“Well?” she asked.

“You look beautiful,” Oliver told her breathlessly.

Felicity smiled, her gaze dropped to the floor and colour filled her cheeks. She looked back up at him, a sly smile crossed her face.

“And?” she prompted.

Oliver frowned as Felicity gestured to her dress and looked at him expectantly. 

Oliver’s head tilted to the side. He had been so distracted by her beauty, he had missed something. The dress Felicity had chosen for the night, was green. His green. A wide smile spread across his face, his eyes darkened. He held his elbow out to Felicity and she slipped her hand through.

“Ms. Smoak,” Oliver said seriously, and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “You’re wearing my favourite colour. I can’t wait to peel that dress from your body once we get home. To show my… appreciation in your colour choices.”

Felicity shivered in anticipation. “Don’t make any promises you can’t keep,” she muttered under her breath.

Oliver chuckled. “Believe me, this is one I intend to keep. Multiple times,” Oliver whispered as they entered the ballroom. 

Felicity let out a breathy laugh, and fanned herself with her hand, smiling. “Behave,” she chided.

The pair had spent the next hours socializing and speaking with investors. Or Felicity had, Oliver had spent most of the night watching her charm person after person. All drawn to her warm personality. 

Felicity had asked Oliver a few times to dance with her, but he declined each time. He reminded her with a smile, that he didn’t dance. 

Felicity smiled at Oliver softly. “One of these days, I’ll get you to dance with me,” she promised. 

The happiness and laughter came to an abrupt end, when the lights in the room, suddenly cut out. A loud voice echoed through the room. It called out to the money holders and the one percenters present in the room as it blamed them for the problems that continued to plague Starling City. 

Oliver, on high alert, squinted into the darkened room, his eyes searched for Felicity. 

That was when the gun shots rang out through the room. Muzzle flashes light up sections of the room, as screams broke out. 

As Oliver crept in the direction he had last seen Felicity in, the lights flickered back on. Oliver could see three shooters and other men, masked and dressed in black, blocking the exits. 

The terrified guests ran in all directions, tripping over the bodies of fallen victims, pushing others out of the way. 

Oliver searched, frantically for Felicity. His eyes caught sight of her trademark blonde hair. 

Felicity was crouched, hiding behind a table. Oliver moved quickly to her side. His hand reached for her shoulder. She jumped in surprise, a quiet yelp left her lips. Her phone was in her hand, as she tapped out a message. 

“What do we have here?” a voice to their left rang out, and Felicity was roughly pulled to her feet. “A hero? Who are you talking to?”

Oliver jumped to his feet, prepared to fight. He could see tears in Felicity’s eyes and her mouth open and shut, her eyes wild.

“Don’t touch her,” Oliver yelled and stepped forward.

The man turned to face Oliver, his hand still gripped Felicity’s arm tightly. He waved his gun at Oliver.

“And how are you going to stop me?” he goaded and pulled Felicity closer to his body and rested his gun against her temple.

Oliver could feel his blood boiling at the sight, he clenched his hands tightly into fists. He looked at Felicity, her eyes wide in terror.

The sounds of sirens broke through the screams that echoed around. The man holding Felicity, monetarily distracted, lowered the hand that held the gun to Felicity’s head. The distraction was all Oliver had needed, he launched himself forward, hands wrapped around the gun, and pointed it up to the ceiling as he tried to twist it out of the man’s grasp.

Oliver felt Felicity pull herself away from their fight. He continued to fight for control of the gun. The man twisted away from Oliver and dodged his fists. Oliver wrapped his arm around the man’s neck, he applied enough pressure to stun but not kill.

Suddenly, a single shot rang out.

Oliver heard Felicity gasp, he turned to see her look down at her stomach. Her hand touched it, and pulled away, red and slick with her blood. Her legs seemed to give out from under her and she fell to the floor. 

The world around Oliver seemed to slow down, a buzzing sound filled his ears. He pulled back from the man, the gun now in his hand and he roughly hit the man over the head with the butt end and knocked him unconscious. Oliver dropped the gun to the floor and rushed to Felicity’s side, he pulled a cloth from a nearby table and held it to her abdomen.

“It’s okay,” he said and stared at her face. Her eyes wide and glazed over in shock and pain. “You’re okay, I’m here.” Oliver repeated the words to her over and over, tears fell from his eyes and landed on his hands as they applied pressure to Felicity’s bleeding abdomen.

“Oli- Oliver,” Felicity stuttered, her breath came out in short puffs. Her eyes fluttered as she struggled to keep them open.

“Felicity, hey, stay with me,” Oliver begged, her eyes fell shut. “Open your eyes.”

A paramedic appeared at the couples side. Oliver moved with them as another rushed a stretcher over and lifted Felicity’s body on top. Oliver gripped her hand tightly, pleading with her to open her eyes. 

The paramedics began pushing the stretcher out the exit, Oliver ran along side and jumped into the ambulance as they loaded Felicity in. 

“Sir, you can’t ride with us,” the paramedic began. Oliver silenced him with a glare.

“Oliver,” Diggle ran up to the open doors of the ambulance. “I’ll follow behind.” He looked at the paramedics. “You won’t be able to get him to leave her.”

The paramedics looked at each other and back at Oliver. He still glared fiercely, as if daring them to tell him to move, to leave Felicity’s side. They nodded and closed the doors. The ambulance jerked as it started and drove to the hospital.

Oliver felt himself falling into a daze, his eyes locked on Felicity’s hand, held in his. As the paramedics began to work to stop the blood that continued to flow from the wound in Felicity’s abdomen.

The door to the washroom opened, and broke Oliver out of his memories. Oliver looked up and made eye contact with Diggle’s eyes through the reflection in the mirror. He turned to face his friend.

Diggle held two styrofoam cups in his hands. “It’s not great, but at least it’s drinkable,” he said and held one out to Oliver. 

Oliver dried his hands and took a cup from Diggle, they exited the washroom together and returned to their seats. The coffee felt warm in his hands, but he found himself unable to drink any of the liquid. 

Time seemed to drag on, the minutes slowly ticked by while Oliver waited for the doctor to give him any news on Felicity and her condition. He paced the length of the room, his hands pulled through his hair, his eyes fixed on the clock. He sat back down in his chair, he rested his elbows on his knees and his gaze flew around the room.

At some point, Thea and Laurel had joined Oliver and Diggle in the waiting room. Thea had curled up in her chair and tried to sleep. Oliver could see mascara tracks down her cheeks. Laurel sat on the edge of her seat, feet bouncing in her impatience, periodically looking up at the clock as she fiddled with her phone. Over the past few months, the three girls had become quite close; a fact that still continued to surprise him. The worry and fear for Felicity evident on their faces as they waited. 

After what felt like days, a doctor came through the doors.

“Family of Felicity Smoak?” he called out.

Oliver jumped up and stood in front of the doctor. The others stood behind him, vibrating with nervous energy.

“How is she?” he asked. “Is she —“

The doctor smiled kindly at Oliver. “We were able to remove the bullet without too many complications. Ms. Smoak is quite lucky, the bullet didn’t hit any major organs. She’s resting now.”

“Can we see her?” Thea asked, her hand wrapped around Oliver’s arm.

“Yes,” the doctor said. “But only one visitor at a time.”

Oliver felt hands on his back that pushed him forward. 

“You go first Ollie,” Laurel said quietly. “She’ll want to see you first.”

Oliver nodded mutely. He followed the doctor through the doors and down the hall to the room Felicity had been moved to.

They stopped outside the door. “She’s still sleeping, she’ll probably be a little disoriented when she wakes up,” the doctor explained. “Because of the anesthesia. It will take some time for the effects to wear off.”

Oliver nodded, the doctor held the door open for him. He walked in, his eyes fell on Felicity.

She lay still in the bed, the blankets pulled up, her arms resting on top. Her hair still curled, lay messily over her shoulders. Her chest rising and falling with each breath. 

Oliver pulled a chair to sit next to her, he picked her hand up and held it in both of his. He rested his head over their hands. Tears welled up in his eyes.

“Felicity,” he breathed. He had come so close, too close to losing her. Oliver sent prayers out again, thanking whoever was listening, for saving this girl. The girl who had saved him so many times in the past. Who had pulled him out of the darkness into the light, her light. 

“I need you to wake up Felicity,” he whispered. “I need to see your beautiful eyes again. Okay? I just need you wake up. I still owe you a dance. Wake up. Please, for me. I love you.”

Oliver stayed, with his head rested on their intertwined hands. He felt the weight and stress of the evening catching up to him, his eyes felt heavy. He let his eyes close, as he drifted to sleep. Thankful that Felicity would be okay. They would be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

Oliver woke to the feeling of fingers, carefully combing through his hair. He opened his eyes and squinted in the harsh light of the bright room. He turned his head to see Felicity smiling softly at him. He quickly sat up.

“Felicity,” Oliver breathed. “You’re awake. You’re okay.”

Felicity wrinkled her nose. “And confused,” she muttered, her voice low and rough from disuse. 

Oliver’s eyes widened as he stood up next to Felicity’s bed. “You don’t,” he started. “You don’t remember what happened?”

“It’s all… fuzzy,” Felicity trailed off, clearing her throat. “And I’m thirsty.”

“Of course,” Oliver said, and walked over to the table beside Felicity’s bed. He poured a glass of water from the pitcher that sat there, and held it for her while she took a long sip from the straw.

Felicity sighed when she pulled back. “That’s better,” she sighed happily, her voice clearer. “Now, I can talk without sounding like I smoke a pack a day.”

A small chuckle left Oliver’s lips; only Felicity could make jokes while laying in a hospital bed. 

“What do you remember?” Oliver asked carefully.

“I remember being at the gala,” Felicity recalled. “I remember talking, lots of talking. Did I embarrass myself? I hope I didn’t say anything embarrassing. I’m always saying the wrong thing, I don’t know why you even let me speak in public.”

“You were fine,” Oliver reassured her. “You had the whole room eating out of the palm of your hand.” 

“Oh,” Felicity mumbled in a surprised tone. “Well there’s a first time for everything I guess. And then, I remember the lights going out. And…”

Oliver gently took her hand in his. Relishing the feeling of her hand, small and warm in his own. A feeling that he had worried he would never feel again, only hours before. 

“Pain,” Felicity whispered. “I remember pain.”

Oliver nodded, he leaned in as close to Felicity as he could, without climbing onto her bed. “You. You were,” he stuttered, struggling to get the words out. “You were shot.”

It was the first time Oliver had said the words out loud. They resonated in his head. Felicity had been shot. Shot. With a gun. A gun that he had been wrestling for, that he had been fighting to gain control of. 

“Well,” Felicity said, stifling a yawn. “I guess that means I have a new scar.”

Her voice broke him out of his darkening thoughts. He brushed his hand over her cheek, Felicity leaned into his hand, sighed in contentment and closed her eyes.

“I should let the doctor know you’re awake,” he said quietly. “And you should get some rest.”

Felicity shook her head stubbornly and her eyes shot open. “Please don’t leave,” she whispered, looking up at Oliver, fear evident on her face. Her eyes blinked slowly, as she tried to fight off the sleep her body craved. 

“I’ll come back,” he whispered.

“Promise me?” Felicity begged.

Oliver smiled at her and brushed his thumb across her cheek. Felicity’s eyes fluttered shut as she fell asleep. He slowly removed his hand from her cheek as he stood and turned towards the door. Thoughts swirling in his mind. He opened the door and exited Felicity room, closing the door behind him. He leaned heavily on the door, he scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to clear his head. Once he took his hands off his face, he looked around, trying to find the doctor. He spotted a nurse station a few meters away, he walked over.

“Felicity Smoak,” he informed the nurse, who was sitting behind the desk. “She woke up, she’s asleep again. But could you let her doctor know?” 

“Of course,” the nurse smiled at Oliver flirtatiously. “Is there anything else? Anything I can help you with?” She leaned forward, closer to Oliver.

“No,” Oliver muttered, ignoring the nurse’s advances and he stepped back. He walked over to the door and back out into the waiting room.

Diggle and Thea noticed him reentering the room, they stood up to greet him, Laurel followed quickly behind.

“How is she?” Diggle asked quickly, worry evident on his face.

“And why aren’t you still with her?” Thea asked, narrowing her eyes at her older brother.

“She woke up,” Oliver reassured. His friends all took a big sigh of relief, looking as if a weight had been lifted from their shoulders. “She’s okay, tired. She fell back to sleep.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Thea pried. “Why aren’t you with her? I was thinking that we’d have to drag you away from her.”

Diggle turned to look at Oliver, a look of realization crossed his face. “Let’s get you something to eat, man,” he said lightly, and put his hand on Oliver’s shoulder, he turned Oliver in the direction of the cafeteria. “Thea, why don’t you take a turn sitting with Felicity. Oliver hasn’t eaten since last night. And you know how stupid he gets when he hasn’t eaten. Makes decisions without thinking.”

Thea nodded, she grabbed her coat from the chair and left through the door that led to Felicity’s room.

Laurel’s eyes narrowed at the interactions. “What’s going on?” she inquired. 

Diggle sighed and walked over to Laurel, he whispered something in her ear, too quietly for Oliver to make out what was being said. “Felicity’s mom, Donna,” he said louder. “She should be getting here soon, I called her last night and she was going to get the first flight possible to here. Could you wait for her here Laurel? Explain what happened and I’ll find this guy some food.”

Laurel nodded and sat back down. But her eyes didn’t leave Oliver. He could see her, glaring at him, accusing, as she stared at him.

Oliver sighed, he felt Diggle’s hand on his back. He allowed Diggle to lead him down the hallway.

“I know what you’re thinking Oliver,” Diggle remarked, once the pair was out of Laurel’s hearing range. 

“What am I thinking?” Oliver challenged, as he stopped and turned to face his friend. 

“That this,” Diggle answered, gesturing around them. “Is somehow your fault. That Felicity getting hurt, Felicity getting shot, is your fault. But you’re an idiot if you think that.”

Oliver laughed without humour. “How is it not my fault?” Oliver questioned drily. “I was the one who challenged that guy. I was the one trying to get the gun away from him. This is my fault. If I had been stronger or faster, I could have got the gun away before he… before I…”

Diggle shook his head and looked down at the floor. “Oliver,” he objected. “That guy, he could have shot anyone. He could have shot you, or me, or any one of the hundreds of people there last night. If you hadn’t tried to get the gun away from him. It could have been much worse and then where would we be? Burying her?”

Oliver stepped forward, his hands clenched in fists. “Don’t say that,” he threatened. “Don’t.”

Diggle took a step back. “Oliver,” he reasoned. “I’m not trying to scare you. But this blame game. This thing you do, where you blame yourself and run, whenever Felicity gets hurt. Where you think that Felicity will somehow be safer, if you aren’t with her. It’s getting old, man. And one of these days, she won’t be waiting for you when you realize how stupid you’re being. Remember the last time you did this? How you had to watch her with Palmer? Don’t you remember how miserable you were? How she wasn’t really happy?”

“That’s not what I’m doing,” Oliver argued. “I’m not running. But, it’s because of me, that she’s. That Felicity — She could have a life. One without danger.”

Diggle shook his head. “You’re running. And you don’t even realize it,” Diggle interrupted. “You should be glued to that girl’s side. You could have lost her. Lost her forever.”

“I KNOW,” Oliver exploded. “I know. And that thought. It keeps me up at night. The thought that I won’t hear her laugh or see her smile. The thought that I might not be able to hold her. It keeps me up at night.”

“So, don’t let her go,” Diggle countered. “Go back in there and don’t leave her.”

“I just get her hurt Digg,” Oliver whispered, tears filled his eyes. “I put her in danger.”

Diggle shook his head. “Whatever man,” he muttered, waving his hand in dismissal. “Grab a bite to eat. And for God’s sake, think about what you’re saying. What you’re thinking about doing before you make any decisions. Stupid decisions that you won’t be able to take back.”

Oliver watched his friend walk back towards the waiting room before he turned and continued to the cafeteria. He walked over to a small stand and bought a coffee. He carried it over to a row of chairs by a set of windows, he fell onto one of the chairs. He looked out the window, the sun high in the morning sky.

Oliver’s mind was scattered, it jumped from thought to thought. But it kept returning to what Diggle had said to him. If he and Felicity weren’t together, if he left her, she might have the chance at a normal life, he tried to reason with himself. She would be safer, safer without him. Safer and away from danger, wouldn’t she?

When Oliver had made the choice to be with Felicity and had asked her to leave Starling with him, all those months ago, it had seemed so easy. He had her, the girl that he loved, the girl that he would always love, and that was all he needed. 

And when they had made the decision, together, to return to Starling. They had both agreed to work as a team. To make decisions together, to be honest and open with each other. Always. Neither one would make decisions for both of them.

But that was before, Oliver argued with himself. That was before, Felicity got hurt. She would understand. He was trying to keep her safe.

The sound of high heels clicking on the floor and that came to a stop in front of Oliver broke him out of his thoughts. He turned to find the source of the sound. 

A small, blonde woman in a skin tight, bright orange dress stood in front of him. She stood out in the grey coloured cafeteria standing in her brightly coloured dress and sky high heels. He raised his eyes to meet hers. 

Donna Smoak. Felicity’s mother.

“Oliver,” she whispered, her eyes full of tears. She reached out and grabbed his hand and pulled him up to stand. She wrapped her arms tightly around him in a hug. 

Oliver stood still, in shock for a moment before he wrapped his arms around Donna.

Donna took a step back and looked at Oliver carefully. Her eyes seemed to be able to look inside him, in a way that reminded Oliver of Felicity. The way she always seemed to know what he was thinking, what he needed, simply by looking at him.

“Mr. Diggle told me I would find you here.” Donna explained. “He also said that I should talk some sense into you.”

Oliver looked down to the floor, he felt a rush of frustration towards his friend.

“Oliver,” Donna called to him softly, touching him gently on the arm. “I know we don’t know each other very well. But I do know two things.”

Oliver looked up at Donna in shock. Startled at how her words mirrored words that Felicity had said to Oliver years ago, when they fought Slade and his army.

“The first, is that I know you love my daughter and you would do anything to keep her safe. Mr. Diggle told me you tried to get the gun away from the man who… hurt Felicity,” Donna stated, smiling softly at Oliver. 

“And the second thing, I know you carry weight. A lot of weight, you have been through terrible things. Felicity didn’t tell me what. But I can tell that it changed you. And the weight that you carry, causes you to think that when bad things happen to the people you love. It’s your fault.”

Oliver looked at Donna in shock and confusion. The pair had only seen each other once since their initial meeting almost a year ago.

While he and Felicity were on their road trip, they had decided to make a detour to Las Vegas to visit her mother. Oliver had stayed quiet for most of the visit. Partially because he had enjoyed observing Felicity interact with her mother. Watching the two women who outwardly seemed to have absolutely nothing in common, but internally, were surprisingly similar. The other reason for his lack of input, was that between the two chattering women, Oliver hadn’t been able to say much in edgewise. 

So, he found himself stunned, when this woman seemed to know what he was thinking, to understand what he was thinking. 

“I work in a casino,” Donna continued. “You get good at reading people.”

Donna sat down in the chairs and gestured for Oliver to join her. He sat, still in shock.

“You know,” Donna offered. “When Mr. Diggle first called me. And he told me that my baby had been shot. My first thought was that I’d never get to see her again. Hear her laugh again.”

Oliver nodded. “That was my first thought too,” he agreed. “I’m sorry. I’m so..”

“Oliver,” Donna interrupted. “The only person to blame is the man who held the gun, the man who pulled the trigger.”

“But, I,” Oliver started. “I was fighting with him. He had the gun pointed at Felicity’s head. I grabbed him, I was fighting with him. And he… he shot her.”

“Exactly. He shot her,” Donna repeated. “He shot her. Not you.”

Oliver shook his head. “I’m not safe,” Oliver whispered. “She gets hurt when she’s around me. She’d be better off with someone safe.”

“Oliver,” Donna commanded. “When Felicity’s father left, he took a piece of her with him. She was always this bright and happy girl. Always laughing and smiling and stealing her father’s things to build computers. And when he left, it was like someone had turned the light out. She was so sad, all the time. And I was working, trying to keep a roof over our heads, so I missed a lot. Then she left for college, with her hair dyed black. And when she finished, she turned into this quiet IT girl, hiding behind her computers and her coding.

“But then she met you,” Donna continued. “She met you, and you know, I can remember the first time she mentioned you. And when I saw you two together, she lit up. It was the first time in years that I could see my Felicity again. My bright sunshine girl. You brought her back.”

Oliver smiled softly, as he listened to Donna’s words. He had always thought of Felicity as a ray of light. The way she seemed to light up any room. He had been drawn to her light, felt she had pulled him out of the darkness he had sunk so deeply into and pulled him into her light.

“I don’t know exactly what you’re involved in,” she said. “The news depresses me, so I don’t pay much attention. But I know you do good. And sometimes doing good, isn’t always safe. Sometimes, in order to keep others safe, we have to put other things, other people at risk. And I know my daughter. She made the choice to stand next to you. She knew the risks and stood by you anyway. So don’t push her away. Because I can’t lose my sunshine girl again. I’m afraid that she won’t come back. If she loses you, she won’t come back. She tried to be happy without you once, it didn’t work.”

Oliver sat in silence, taking in Donna’s words. He remembered what Diggle had said to him earlier. He could still hear Felicity’s voice, begging him not to leave her, asking him to promise to come back. 

“I’ll give you some time to think,” Donna added as she began to walk away. She turned back to face Oliver. “And you know Oliver, pushing people away, even when you’re doing it because you love them. It doesn’t make you stronger. I think it makes you weaker, because you’re doing it out of a place of fear. But if you’re so scared of losing them, shouldn’t you hold them closer. Hold them closer while you still have them. None of us know what will happen. We all die eventually, but isn’t it better to die with the ones we love by our side?”

Donna’s words played and replayed in his mind as she walked away. He knew he loved Felicity. More than he had even loved anyone. Hell, there was a ring that had been sitting in his drawer at home for months to prove it. He was so scared of losing Felicity, that he was going to push her away. Again. But if he did that, if he pushed her away, that would be when he’d really lose her. And he wasn’t willing to lose her. He wouldn’t survive.

Oliver jumped to his feet, a deep feeling of regret filling him. He started walking quickly down the hall, his pace turning into a jog as he neared the waiting room. A strong urge to be with Felicity, to hold her hand, filled him and pushed him to get there quicker.

Diggle turned to Oliver as he entered the room. A smug smirk on his face. “Come to your senses then?” he asked.

Oliver mock glared at his friend. “Shut up,” Oliver joked. “And thank you.”

“The doctor’s in with her,” Diggle answered Oliver’s unasked question. “But I’m sure you can go in.”

Diggle hadn’t even finished speaking, and Oliver was walking back through the door and down the short hallway that led to Felicity’s room. Back to Felicity’s side. He stopped outside the door, he could hear Felicity’s voice, answering the doctor’s questions. He knocked quietly on the door and pushed it open partway.

Donna was sitting in Oliver’s vacant seat beside the bed. The doctor stood next to Felicity, filling in a chart. Felicity’s eyes flew to the door, lighting up when she made contact with Oliver’s, but then filled with a sadness, a sight Oliver hoped to never see again.

“Am I interrupting?” Oliver questioned, stepping into the room.

“No,” the doctor answered, as he put Felicity’s chart down. “I was just finishing. Ms. Smoak still needs rest. But she should be able to leave tomorrow.”

Oliver stepped out of the way as the doctor exited the room.

“Let’s give these two lovebirds a minute,” Donna said, gesturing to Thea, who Oliver hadn’t even noticed sitting by the window. The two women left the room, leaving Oliver and Felicity alone. 

“I thought you weren’t going to come back,” Felicity admitted quietly. “When I woke up, the second time. Thea was here and she wouldn’t say where you were. And then my mom came in and said she had talked to you. But I know you. I know you. You blame yourself. So, let’s get this over with.”

Oliver’s brow furrowed. “Get what over with, Felicity?” he asked in a confused tone. 

“You’re breaking up with me,” Felicity rolled her eyes. “I got hurt, so you think that I’ll be safer if we aren’t together. I should have seen this coming.” 

“No Felicity,” Oliver pleaded, he sat down in the chair next to the bed, he grasped her hand between his own. “I was scared. And yes, I thought for a minute about the fact that you might be safer without me. Without me putting your life in danger. But then, your mom talked to me and Digg. Then I thought about how I would have felt if I had lost you last night. If you had died.”

Felicity looked at Oliver in confusion. “And how would you have felt?” Felicity pressed. 

“Regret,” Oliver answered. “All I could think about was the time we could have had together. If I hadn’t pushed you away after the bomb last year. All the time we could have had together. The adventures and challenges we could have faced together, if I hadn’t made the decision, for both of us, to push you away. The life we could have had. I’m not going to make that mistake again.”

Felicity eyed Oliver warily. “So, you aren’t breaking up with me,” she clarified.

Oliver smiled and shook his head. “Never,” he promised. “Besides, I owe you a dance.”

Felicity let out a small laugh. “I don’t think I’ll be dancing any time soon,” she admitted, her hand resting on her abdomen. 

Oliver moved from his chair to sit on the edge of Felicity’s bed, he placed one of his hands on top of her’s on her abdomen and placed his other on her cheek. Felicity raised her eyes to meet his as his thumb brushed her cheek.

“I almost lost you,” he whispered.

Felicity raised her hand to cover the one on her cheek. “ Now you know how it feels,” she joked, winking at him. “What I go through every night when you go out.”

Oliver closed his eyes, he sighed deeply and opened his eyes, meeting Felicity’s tired ones.

“Get some sleep,” he whispered. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”   
Felicity frowned and tried to hide a yawn that was escaping from her lips. “I feel like all I’ve done since I woke up is sleep,” she muttered, but her eyes fluttered shut as sleep overtook her. 

Oliver moved off her bed, and sat back in his chair. He looked at Felicity’s face as she slept, holding her hand firmly in his own. Feeling a great sense of thankfulness that he hadn’t made the mistake of pushing her away. He still had her. And he was never letting go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter :)

Oliver lay in the bed that he shared with Felicity, his fingers ran tenderly up and down her spine as she slept. As he watched her sleep, the last few minutes before her alarm would go off, he thought about all that had happened in the past month. 

It had been one month, one month to the day since Felicity had been shot while the pair had been attending a charity gala. One month since he had almost lost her, since he had been forced to confront the possibility of living without her. Forced to consider the thought of living without her, without Felicity, his Felicity, in the world. 

It was those events and those terrifying thoughts that had almost lead Oliver to make the decision to leave Felicity. His fear of losing her and guilt he felt after the events, had almost overclouded his judgement. The fear and guilt had almost caused him to make what would have been the biggest mistake of his life. He had considering letting Felicity go. He had tried to convince himself that she would be better without him, safer without him, happier with out; and he had almost believed it.

Luckily, Diggle and Felicity’s mother Donna, had talked some sense into him. They had helped him understand the mistake he had been considering to make. They had helped him realize how leaving Felicity wouldn’t make either of them safer or happier. 

For the first few days after the accident, Felicity had suffered from numerous sleepless nights, plagued by nightmares, reliving that night. However, in her nightmares there were different endings to the night. The first version, Oliver would be the one injured, sacrificing himself for Felicity and she would unable to help him, stuck in place, forced to watch him die. The other version, ended with Oliver leaving her. Felicity would be hurt and bleeding and he would walk away, leaving her there, ignoring her pleas as she begged him to stay. Now, one month later, a small scar on Felicity’s abdomen was the only reminder of the incident.

The time the pair had spent together in the days and weeks since the accident, had been days filled with happiness. Which is what had led Oliver to the thoughts that currently filled his head. The question he had spent the last few weeks thinking about as he tried to find the perfect way to ask her. He planned to ask Felicity to marry him, to ask her to spend the rest of her life with him. 

Oliver had purchased the ring months ago and kept it hidden in the back of one of his drawers, somewhere Felicity wouldn’t find it. Now, all that remained was for Oliver to find the perfect way to ask her. 

Felicity sighed in her sleep as she curled in closer to Oliver, she snuggled tighter to his chest. Oliver was struck by the realization of how perfectly she seemed to fit with him. A thought that never ceased to amaze Oliver. There were days that he was still filled with disbelief. That she, this amazing woman, was really here, with him. That she had chosen to be with him. She wanted to be with him.

The shrill beeping of Felicity’s alarm clock, broke off Oliver’s train of thought and caused Felicity to groan. She burrowed closer to Oliver’s chest. He smiled and wrapped his arms tighter around her small body. Oliver reached over and turned off the alarm.

“Too early,” Felicity mumbled, her voice rough with sleep. “It’s too early.”

Oliver chuckled, for someone who was always so cheerful and bright, Felicity definitely was not a morning person. At least, not before she had her first cup of coffee. 

Felicity rubbed her face on Oliver’s chest one last time before she sat up. She pulled the sheets with her, covering herself. She squinted at the clock, she brought her hands up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She reached over to the bedside table and placed her trademark glasses on her nose. She turned back to look at Oliver, who still lay on the pillow. 

“Time to get up,” she whispered and leaned back down and placed her lips on his, in a delicate good morning kiss.

Oliver watched Felicity stand up and walk over to her dresser, the sheet slipping from her grasp and uncovering her naked body. His eyes followed her, a smile crossed his face as Felicity pulled her robe over her body.

“Marry me,” Oliver whispered.

Felicity turned around abruptly and stared at Oliver in shock. “Wh - what,” she stuttered, she blue eyes wide behind her glasses.

“Marry me,” Oliver repeated as he moved into a sitting position. 

Felicity quickly walked back to the bed, she sat down beside Oliver, her knees curled under her. “Oliver,” Felicity rambled. “Are you asking me… Did you just ask me… Oliver?”

Oliver laughed quietly at Felicity’s babbling. “Felicity,” he said warmly, taking her hands in his. “I have been in love with you for the past two years. I want to wake up every morning and have your face be the first one I see. I want to fall asleep each night, with you in my arms. I want to cook you omelettes and argue over who’s turn it is to do the dishes. I want to fight over the remote with you and bring you coffee each morning. I want to get into stupid little fights and have as much make up sex as we can take. I want to have kids with you. You make me so unbelievably happy, I want to return the favour, I want to be the one to make you happy every single day for the rest of our lives.”

“Oliver. Think about what you’re asking,” Felicity interrupted. She jumped up and started pacing the length of the room. “I’m awkward and I make inappropriate comments almost every time I open my mouth. And I babble and use your towel without asking. And I binge watch weird TV shows and obsess over them. I look like a monster when I wake up in the morning, and I act like one until I have coffee. I’m a terrible cook. I hate making the bed. I don’t think you really understand what you’re asking me. Or why you would want to…”

Oliver shook his head and stood up. He walked over to where Felicity was pacing. He stopped in front of her and took her hands in his, stopping her movements. 

“Felicity,” he said calmly. “I know all those things. They’re some of the things that I love most about you. I also know that you snore just a little but you stop when I rub your back. And I know that you only like to eat ice cream out of the carton after it has been warmed up for 15 seconds. And when you’re sick you feel better after you talk to your mom on the phone. I know that you get this little, adorable wrinkle in between your eyebrows when you’re trying to solve a problem.

“Felicity, I know all those things,” Oliver stated. “And I love you. You asked me once if I had any happy stories, Felicity. And it’s you. You, are my happy story. The years I was away, and even the first few after I came back, there were so many times I thought I was going to die. There were things I had to do, choices I had to make, that should have destroyed me. That made me believe that I was undeserving of love. I had done so many terrible and unforgiving things. Things that still keep me up at night, I lay awake regretting them, wishing I had died instead. 

“And when I came back, I was prepared to be alone, fight alone, die alone. I didn’t deserve love. After everything I had done, I couldn’t deserve it. My punishment for my actions, was to be alone. I never even dreamed that I would be or ever could be happy.

“But then I met you, you saw something in me, and I still don’t know what that was or understand what you see. But you saved me, you pulled me out of the darkness. Made me see that maybe I could be forgiven for my actions, my mistakes. 

“So, please, marry me. Be my wife. Let me spend the rest of my life, trying to be the person that you see and the person that deserves you and your love. Marry me.”

Felicity stared at Oliver, her mouth open and eyes wide unblinking as tears streamed down her cheeks. 

Oliver waited a few minutes in silence. Felicity still hadn’t moved, he watched her chest move up and down with each breath.

Oliver bent his knees and rested his hand gently on her cheek. “Felicity,” he uttered quietly, breaking her out of her daze, her eyes focused on his face. “This is usually the part where the person being asked to marry someone, says their answer.”

Felicity blinked. “Where’s the ring?” she mumbled under her breath.

“What?” Oliver asked and moved his head closer to Felicity. 

“The ring,” Felicity repeated. “This is usually the part where the person asking someone to marry them, has a ring.”

Oliver laughed and shook his head. He walked over to his dresser and pulled open the drawer. He reached into the back and dug a small box out. He walked back over to Felicity and held the box out to her. Felicity carefully took the box and opened it. She gasped at the sight of the ring. It was a delicate silver band, that had a beautiful circular emerald encased in the centre, that band seemed to come to a small point, next to the left side of the emerald, which gave the appearance of an arrow, holding the emerald in place. She carefully removed it from the box and held it in her hand.

“Ask me again,” she whispered, as she stared at the ring, unable to take her eyes off it. 

Oliver smiled and took the ring from Felicity’s hand and kneeled in front of her. “Felicity,” he started. “Will you marry me, please?”

Felicity looked up from the ring, into Oliver’s eyes. Tears filled her eyes again as she nodded, a smile crossed her lips. “Yes. I will marry you.”

A large grin spread across Oliver’s face as he slid the ring onto Felicity’s left ring finger. Felicity wrapped her arms around Oliver’s neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her so tightly that her feet lifted from the floor. A laugh bubbled from her lips as Oliver spun her in circles. Laughter filled the small bedroom that they shared. 

Once Oliver had put Felicity back on the floor she pulled back and wiped the tears from her face, smiling. Her head shot up. “Oh, my God. I have to call Thea. And Laurel. And Caitlin. And my mother. My mother?! I have to call my mother first, did she know?” Felicity babbled, she began to pace around the room again. “Did anyone know? Digg? You must have told Digg.”

Oliver chuckled, he walked over to Felicity and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. He ducked his head into her neck, cuddling in. 

“Yes,” he muttered, his lips brushed her neck as he spoke. “I told your mother, I had to ask for her permission to marry her only daughter. And yes, Digg knew. And Thea, she wanted to approve the ring. But they didn’t know I’d do it this morning. I didn’t know that I’d ask you now. I had thought I’d maybe ask you over dinner or in the lair. 

“But when I was looking at you this morning, I knew. I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t go another day without that ring being on your finger. I couldn’t go another day without asking you to marry me.” Oliver rubbed his thumb over the emerald in the ring.

Felicity held her hand up and admired the ring. She tilted her head to the side as she stared. “Where did you get it?” she asked quietly. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s beautiful.”

Oliver smiled and turned Felicity around in his arms so that she faced him. “That’s because I made it. Well, I made the band, I bought the emerald,” he muttered ducking his head, a flush of red filled his cheeks.

Felicity gasped. “You made this?” she asked shocked. “Oliver, it’s beautiful. Why are wasting your time as a vigilante? You should be designing rings.”

Oliver let out a bark of laughter and threw his head back. “Felicity,” he said as he lowered his eyes to meet hers. “The only ring I want to design, to make ever, is yours.”

A wide smile crossed Felicity’s face. She threw her arms around Oliver’s neck, hugging him tightly. 

Oliver pulled back from her slightly and took her right hand in his left, and wrapped his right arm around her waist and rested his chin on the top of her head. He started swaying them slowly. 

“What are you doing, Oliver?” Felicity asked confused.

“Dancing,” Oliver announced. “I still owe you a dance. You’ll have to excuse me if I’m a little rusty, it’s been a while.” He winked at her.

A large smile lit up Felicity’s face as she buried her head on Oliver’s chest and giggled. 

“It’s perfect,” she whispered. Felicity abruptly pulled back. “Work. I’m going to be late.”

Oliver pulled her back to him. “The best thing about you being the CEO of your own company,” Oliver explained. “Is you can be late, or take a sick day. And celebrate your engagement.”

Felicity smiled softly. “Okay,” she hummed. “I guess engagements are valid excuses.” 

Oliver smiled as he continued to dance with Felicity.

“Can I say something?” Oliver asked. “I’m happy.” 

Felicity smiled softly as she gazed up at him. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”


End file.
